Thursday, July 22, 2010

Why Why Why

Passenger: Start பண்ணப்ப இருந்து ஏன் சார்  பர்ஸ்ட் கியர்லேயே போறீங்க.
Driver: சார் நான் மட்டுமல்ல என் கார் கூட விஜய் fan.ஒரு வாட்டி ஒரு கியர் போட்டுட்டா நானே மாத்தினாலும் என் கார் கியர் மாறாது.

Emp1:My manager is the worst
Emp2:My manager is the worst.
Emp1: Okie, lets ask Paul, the Octopus.
They take the picture of the managers, write their names on it and drop on it.
To their utter horror, Octopus jumped out of the tank and committed suicide :(

P.S
First one is out of my sheer imagination.
Second one,inpired my a mobile message forward.

The fall and the rise of the Mercury

One fine day[no on a very damned, cursed day]  an IT professional, fell terribly sick, like never ever before in the history of his life. He was completely wonder stuck as he dint know when,where,why and how the thunderbolt struck him. You know these IT people go crazy like anything if they cant get to the bottom of it and find the root cause. To add fuel to the fire, he did even faint out even with out seeing any beauties! The Director and board members of his room felt his condition was worse than BP oil spill and needs professional medical attention.[Well you see,Most of his room mates educate the doctors on what the drugs actually do,what options they do have and they don't;)]

Of all things he fears the most,[well one among the very few] is getting injected. In spite of his initial protestations, they succeeded to drag him on to a doctor. Right in the beginning he set the terms and conditions, "NO INJECTION, I CAN'T RUN,YOU CAN'T CHASE". Out of his IT experience he definitely knows how to set the expectations right in the very beginning and to talk smooth.

The doctor  moved on with preliminaries asking age, measuring height and weight ,and started measuring the arterial pressure using sphygmomanometer, [yeah we average joes call that as blood pressure]now the doctor was much more worried than the person who accompanied the IT professional which was pretty clear from the frowns on his forehead.

The doctor was like, man this is more like a project that is turning towards red or for all i know it could have already turned red.

The IT professional asked the doctor will he mind checking his BP after 5 minutes of his meditation. Doctor with a little bit of reluctance agreed to it.

After five minutes, when the doctor measured, the mercury was raising so high the systolic measurement was between 135-145 and diastolic measurements was between 85-95. In plain terms he was traversing between prehypertension to hypertension.

There the doctor uttered those 4 words, the most overused words in the universe in all languages combined, may be next only to "I Love You" "IT'S A MEDICAL MIRACLE". Then, he shot me a barrage of questions What kind of meditiation is that? Where did you learn? Was it from that swamiji or this swamiji? Though he was caught in the act, they say his pranic healing was good? You attended his sessions? If not (them)him, Who else? How long have been practicing it? Can you teach me this? How much does it cost? How long will it take to learn? Is it difficult to learn, practice.

Wondering at the role reversal,who should be asking whom a lot of questions, decided to play along and said shall try to answer your questions.

"I started learning this some 3-4 years back. Gurus are no one special but very normal people like us.All I have to do is think about the salary i get, more especially the salary hike and some unfulfilled promises here and there. I might know some people who could even break this sphygmomanometer"

Alas, the doctor had the last laugh when he said , "Oh I should have asked your profession well in the beginning, you work in IT, that explains it.!"

DISCLAIMER:
Well, the usual one. This post is purely fictional. Any resemblance to real life is purely coincidential

Monday, July 19, 2010

செல்போன் சிணுங்கல்கள்

சத்தமின்றி துயில்வாய் என்ற
செல்போன் சிணுங்கலுக்கு
செவி சாய்க்காமல்
சத்தமாய் தூங்கிகொண்டிருந்தான்
அவன்!
P.S
Dedicated to[Inspired by] my roommate, who has this ring tone and snores too loud ;) :P :D

Friday, July 09, 2010

Thou Shall not Insult My Intelligence!

In the US, even strangers, say "Hi", "Good Morning" and "Happy weekend". When I first came across this kind of behavior, Though it was not personal, It was a great "feel good" feeling that cheered me up. I was happy to reciprocate and very soon became a roman as i was in Rome.

In offices, during the festival times, "We get a Happy so and so, wish you that this" from the HR, the Junior VP, VP and senior VP and from everybody mailed to everybody. I appreciate even this a nice gesture and courtesy.

When you do a good job/or meet your target or something to this effect, your second level manager chips in, sends you a congrats note. I can bear even this, cause even he is a stake holder to an extent.

Whereas, certain occasions, such as, "when you stay in an organization for quite some time like a touchwood and receive a mail that says "You Da Man" undersigned by some VP who barely knew/knows of your existence!" and "when all the higher up's whom you never know how they fit in the hierarchy, start spamming you with congratulations, thank you notes and asking you to keep up the good work[when they really have no clue on what you are doing] when you get a mere paltry sum as a monthly hike[an amount less than what you would make in one single day, when you freelance] as a result of an HR gimmick" then, then you are really PISSING me off!

Dear so called upper/middle management, "Do not pretend that you care for me on a personal basis. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry!"